What was supposed to be a boring 'fetching snacks for the kids' ....

....turned out to be me wishing that I hadn't gone with my aunt to town to the grocery and dollar store.

What hit me and how I felt took me completely by surprise. Literally.

We did mindless running around first, to get green for my aunt's son, and hang out with a few of our mutual friends, then we pulled into the parking spot and I felt so oblivious, I probably should of guessed what was going to happen.

I got to the dollar store, confident in knowing that I don't look like a bum or a mom with no style. I looked adorable and I knew it. My best friend was working, so I said hi. I figured that since she was working, he wouldn't be there - they rarely work together. I was getting random items around the cash register station with my uncle and she turns to me, and says: "I would have told you sooner but he's worki--" only to stop right there, and have me turn around. There he was, with a basket in one hand, his apron tied around his waist. I swallowed hard and looked away quickly, trying to resume my conversation with my aunt, very aware of my fidgeting and voice pitched just a little too high.

He disappeared and I remembered to finally breathe. But it was too late, I was shaking, face hot and feeling so weak any second I'd drop to the floor.

He appeared again. This time, he was talking about some kids who came in just to steal chocolate, eat some of it, and spit the rest all over one of the aisles. I looked everywhere but where he stood. I wondered if he could see how badly I was out of control of my own actions.

He didn't notice. I laughed nervously. "That sucks."

I turned around quickly, voice still too high pitched. "Is this all?" to my aunt, who was in front of me.

Then, I turned to go in the opposite direction and he was inches away from me. I stopped, unable to get myself to move, still shaking. "So, how have you been?" he said. "Good, haven't had a decent amount of sleep in a while.." I replied.

"Haha, yeah. That's what babies like S do. And then they grow up to be bratty kids like those ones." he said.

I stammered something along the lines of: "They weren't raised right."

I left the store shortly after that. Even after 3 hours, I'm still shaking, my heart's still pounding and my knees are so damn weak.

I can't help it. I don't know what to do. He won't give me the time of day. I can't stop feeling like a fool, my body and heart betraying me like that. I want to cry, but I can't. There's no tears. I just feel so damn stupid for acting like a preteen with beiber fever. Ugh, damn you stupid heart.