Lil Southpaw Gypsy

Hey invisible readers,

I'm fairly certain that no one in this world possibly reads my blog. This is somewhat comforting because it lets me know that no one actually gives a flying fart what I write about. I'm completely anonymous.. or the world is simply oblivious to me. There is some comfort in being invisible, you know. There is some comfort in knowing that the world has no idea who you are, who you have been and who you are going to be. At least not just yet. Not until you are visible, and everyone is aware of your thoughts, your ideas, and you in general.

It's cold today. I spent the last couple of days busting my ass cleaning my room and the kitchen and any other possible living space, not only because I had no other clothes left, no dishes to use and everything seemed way too chaotic for my health, but simply because it had to be done. I needed to do 6 giant loads of laundry with a dryer that sucks so much you have to do almost 3 cycles before it dries your clothes (and even now I'm still not done - there's still a bunch of blankets and my pillows and pillowcases to do). I needed to spend hours upon hours upon hours washing dishes that were nothing short of fucking disgusting. I needed to get rid of the pages upon pages of notes that I had written myself. I need to do this, I need to do that, I need, I need, I need.

What I really need.. is a job.

I quit my most recent job because:

1. I always paid them. Training fees and business conventions and whatnot.

2. I never got a cent back. I figured logically that when you have a job, you're supposed to get paid. I didn't get paid. I didn't even have a penny thrown at me.

3. The job was always talking about having a good quality of life, being able to have time and money. Being able to spend time and money and not have to worry about anything. The reality of the job is that you didn't have any time. You also didn't get any money either.

I'm finding myself in a situation where, if I have a job, and it's consuming my entire life and I'm not getting paid for it... I no longer want that job. I want something that makes me work at a steady pace and I get a steady paycheck at the end of the day. Simple as that.

Plus: I need to find that job before I leave in April. I'm taking a random, sketchy trip out to some place I'm not even sure I want to be. I have to somehow make enough money to keep paying my rent here, pay my way there, and food and whatever else, and then possibly have to pay my way back. Woo.