Ugh.

You know that feeling you get when you feel like you're the only one in the world that's perfect for him, and he's perfect for you, and the whole world just feels so right?
Disregard that feeling now, because before you know it, although he might still be the one for you, he's found some other beauty on the shelf and he's already traded you in :(

Ladies, this is why I hate dating. I can't stand giving my heart to someone anymore and watch as they break it into tiny little pieces without any kind of sensitivity. And they know it hurts too, it's part of the game.

To those who thought they've never broken a heart, you've broken the most.

True fact, right there.

I think I've spent the most of my life single, and most of my moments have been unhappy, while I have tried all I could to make them happier. Single and Happy just don't do it themselves, or get done easily.

I just got a message from one of my friends, a little earlier. It read:

"Mellz. I love you. Thank you, for being a good friend to me. I can't even conceive how good of a lover you could have been."

Like, thanks. "I Could Have Been". But I'm not, and never will be.

Consider me bitter, or desperate, or whatever type of name you come up with, but instead of becoming this bitter old lady, or someone who has shut all love out of her life (which is actually happening) I wouldn't mind finding someone who doesn't just say they love me because they wouldn't mind using me for sex, or values my opinion, or wants to hold me just because, randomly steals kisses from me and tells me how beautiful I am.

I don't want to have to ask them what they want after that, because I know the answer to it. I want to be that one thing they can't stand to lose.

Might as well shut myself off to the world. I'm not going to get what I want anyway.